Negotiate or Fight?

Conflict in all areas of life constantly forces us to make critical choices. Sometimes in our personal relationships, sometimes in the business world or in the political arena; in every situation there are two main ways to deal with the challenges we face: Negotiate or fight? Making the right choice between these two approaches is of great importance both for our individual success and for social peace and stability. What factors should we take into account when making these decisions? In this article, we will examine how we can strike a balance between negotiation and struggle, and how we can use both strategies effectively.

Every day we face many conflicts in our personal lives, in business decisions, in political races. In these conflicts we always ask ourselves Should I negotiate or fight?

First of all, in disputes involving mutual relationships, if there is an outcome that we can achieve through negotiation, then of course negotiation should be the priority. In the context of our current situation, there are various factors to consider. In deciding whether to fight or negotiate, our priority should be to strengthen the relationship. The ability to negotiate is one of the essential qualities of a leader. A leader's ability to compromise and bring together different views builds trust and respect in the organisations and societies he or she leads.

Imagine your company has a price dispute with a new supplier. Finding a middle ground through negotiation allows you to build a stronger relationship with the supplier in the long term, making it easier to work together in the future. This approach increases your chances of being able to negotiate not only price, but also quality, delivery times and other important factors.

We should never forget that in any conflict we face, if we can make the other side our ally, our sphere of influence will expand, and with the trust we have built, our subsequent negotiations will become easier and easier. In this way we will be able to achieve our individual, organisational and social goals more quickly.

Of course, it may not be possible to resolve every issue through negotiation. Sometimes conflict is unavoidable. In fact, there are no negotiable or non-negotiable issues; we have to decide according to our positions.

In political conflicts, a political leader may be in constant conflict with an opposition party in his country. If the leader can negotiate with the opposition on some fundamental issues, it will be easier to implement reforms that are important for the country. However, if the opposition party consistently acts in bad faith and offers no compromise, the leader may need to adopt a more combative approach.

When is negotiation not really possible? Negotiation may be difficult if you do not trust the other side, if the other side has a consistently bad reputation for deceit and deception, or if you have no concessions to negotiate and, most importantly, no common interests. However, even these positions should be carefully examined and all scenarios should be carefully considered to see what common ground can be found.

For example, in personal relationships, if you have a disagreement with a friend, and you trust your friend and want a long-term relationship with him or her, it is best to negotiate and find a common ground. However, if your friend is constantly trying to manipulate you and does not inspire trust in any way, you may need to rethink this friendship.

But remember, we never have to choose only one path. When my clients ask me for advice on when to stop negotiating and start litigating, especially in commercial disputes, I always give them the same advice: "Let's do both". Litigation starts when it is necessary, but negotiations should always continue in parallel.

In commercial disputes, even if a company decides to litigate a dispute with a business partner, it can continue to negotiate. While litigation is ongoing, the parties can still find an out-of-court solution by seeking a compromise. This can be more beneficial to both parties in terms of time and cost.

In conclusion, getting the balance right between negotiating and fighting is key to success in both our personal and professional lives. Negotiation skills help us to build strong relationships and find sustainable solutions, while a combative attitude allows us to defend our position and assert our rights when necessary. Let us remember that both approaches should be used strategically, with careful consideration of the most appropriate course of action in each conflict situation. In this way, we can achieve more effective and efficient results at both individual and collective levels.

Aysel Olcen Aydiner, 

Lawyer, Certified Mediator